


Destiel AU - From Then Until Now (Part 1)

by CastielsAsstiel



Series: From Then Until Now [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Chuck Shurley is Castiel's Father, Crowley Being an Asshole, Dean Being an Idiot, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Destiel - Freeform, Flashbacks, Football Player Dean, From Castiel's POV, Hurt Castiel, Jealous Michael, Loner Castiel, M/M, Mary Winchester Lives, Minor Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Minor Violence, One Shot, Prom, Teen Romance, Teen Years, Young Castiel/Young Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 03:17:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5523395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielsAsstiel/pseuds/CastielsAsstiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Growing up, Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester were practically inseparable. In High School, that became a very different story...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Destiel AU - From Then Until Now (Part 1)

 

It was the senior year’s prom night. As with every prom night, most have their dates for the night. For some it’s the highlight of their whole high school experience. For others, it’s an event they would rather not attend, but are forced to because their parents believe it’s an once in a lifetime experience which shouldn’t be missed out. For Castiel, it was just that. His parents arranged with the school that he should offer his assistance with the prom. Castiel’s parents expect him to go to college in the following fall, so getting all the experience he could muster on his resume was essential in order for his applications to stand out from the crowd. Therefore, he has spent his prom night, pouring out the punch, and preparing the hall for this utter crapfest. 

Castiel stood alone in the corner beside the punch table, as he watched on at all his peers dancing on the floor. He clutched tightly hold of his empty, plastic, red punch cup causing it crack when he saw Dean Winchester stroll into the room with his cheerleader girlfriend, Lisa.  

   
Dean was selected to be this year’s captain of the Lawrence High's football team, and because of that and the fact their school won the state championships for the first time in almost 25 years, all the girls flocked around him as if he was a piece of meat in a lion enclosure. Castiel took a deep breath and looked away from the undoubtedly good-looking young man as he began to emerge into a group conversation with some of the jocks and cheerleaders. He knew Dean couldn’t care less about him now. He finally had that social status in school he had always dreamed about since elementary. He wanted to be just like the sporting heroes in the movies, but back then he wasn’t bothered about also getting the girl.  

He had Castiel. 

Ever since 4th Grade, the boys had been almost inseparable. On Castiel's first day of school when he moved to Kansas from Illinois, it was Dean who naturally took him under his wing.  

He remembers it so clearly. It was lunchtime recess. All the other kids were playing on the climbing frames or out playing soccer on the playing field, whereas Castiel sat alone beside the sandpit. After he finished his PB&J sandwiches, he snuck out a comic book under his black and white striped t-shirt out to the playground that his older brother, Michael gave him from his bag, and began reading it as the intense summer sun scorched down upon his pale toned face. He was indulged in reading for a few minutes before he noticed a large shadow approaching towards him. It was boy from 5th grade. 

"Hey, nice comic!" announced the older boy, as he snatched the comic book from Castiel. He was much taller than Castiel, however he was laden with puppy fat. He had mid length dark blonde hair, and wore a black sports cap, blue denim jacket with no sleeves, gray shirt, and black cargo shorts, and a worn old pair of white sneakers. He gazed down at Castiel with a menacing grin as he carelessly flipped through the pages of the comic book. 

Suddenly out of nowhere, a slightly smaller boy with short, sandy hair, wearing a slightly baggy, black AC/DC t-shirt, blue jeans, and converse sneakers, ran toward the older kid and tackled him over. 

"OW!" wailed the older boy, as the sandy haired boy swiftly got back onto his feet, and tried to snatch the comic book out from underneath the older boy whilst he was off guard. At this point, Castiel hears the distinctive sound of paper ripping. 

"Aw, crap..." the boy muttered as he held up half of the comic in hand, "I'm really sorry, dude." 

Castiel felt tears forming in his eyes. It wasn't so much about the comic, it was more about the fact it wasn't his comic. It was Michael's. How is Michael going to react when he tells him what happened to the comic? He was going to kill him. 

As the older kid ran off towards, the sandy haired boy rushed over and sat down next to Castiel. 

"You know I didn't mean that to happen. I was just trying to get your comic back from that butthead for you" 

Castiel sniffled, "I... Know..." 

The boy glanced at Castiel in a confused manner, "So, why are you crying?" 

"Because that was my older brother's comic... He is going to be so mad with me" 

The sandy haired boy placed his hand on Castiel's shoulder and looked him straight in the eye, "I'm the oldest child in my family, but if this happened to my little brother, Sammy, and some mean bully did that to him with one of my comics, I would not be angry with him because I would know it was not his fault" 

Castiel continued to look on at the sandy haired boy, studying his vivid, emerald eyes and freckled face. Castiel found reassurance in the words he was saying. 

"B-But... But how is Michael going to know I'm telling the truth to him? He isn't here..." 

The sandy haired boy smiled, "He will because I'm going to tell him, and you are going to have my copy of the comic" 

Castiel squinted in uncertainty, "What?" 

"I live across the street from you and your brother. How else would I know you moved in last Saturday" 

Castiel glance at the boy, stunned, "Wow... I did not know that" 

The sandy haired boy chuckled, "Well, you do now, and it's all going to be ok. I promise..." 

The boy reached out his hand, "The name's Dean Winchester" 

Castiel accepted the handshake,"Nice to meet you, Dean. I'm Castiel Novak" 

Dean smiled as he slowly nodded his head, 

"Castiel, huh? I haven't heard that name before. Is it fine if I call you Cas?" 

Castiel smiled back, "I'm fine with that" 

"Awesome...", softly responded Dean as he gazed at Castiel, looking deeply into his sea blue eyes. 

"Awesome?", questioned Castiel. 

Dean quickly looked away, nervously scratching the back of his head, "Uh... Well, it's like saying cool or rad" 

Castiel giggled, "Oh... Well, I guess that's awesome" 

Dean gently bumped Castiel in the arm, "There, you've got it!" 

Dean jumped up and turned around to Castiel, "Come on, let's take a walk...", as he gestured to him to follow him. 

Castiel nodded in agreement as he stood up, "Ok" 

 

Of course, Dean stuck to his word, and after school that day, Dean came across to Castiel's house and explained to Michael what happened at school involving his comic book, and gave him his own comic to replace it. Michael was grateful for the gesture, but he told Dean that he could keep the comic because he explained to Dean that his parents didn't approve of him reading comic books as they were based on an unrealistic fantasy and provided no educational purposes. He continued to explain then how he gave Castiel the comic to read because if his parents were going to force him to get rid of all his comic books once he starts high school in the fall, he didn't want Castiel to miss out on the comics he had the opportunity to read. Dean agree that it was a good idea what Michael was doing for Castiel. So, he added the suggestion if Michael and Castiel ever wanted to stash his comics anywhere, he would happily take safe care of them at his house. 

After that, they had a routine. Some days they would be at Dean’s house, usually on weekends, where the activities over the years progressed from making a bunk bed den using blankets, to playing video games, and having movie nights together. At Castiel’s house, things were slightly different because his parents were much stricter and didn’t believe children should have fun, they would have study nights on Mondays and Thursdays, and on Friday, his parents would take them to their weekly swim class, but they often went to the Friday Fun Swim where the main pool was filled with various play things such as, balls, floats, and inflatables. Plus, there was also music over the speakers. It was much more enjoyable than taking the same mundane swim class covering the same thing over and over again ‘to perfect their abilities’. 

But there was this one time, back in 9th Grade during the summer break when they had a sleepover in a tiny one-man tent in a quiet, spacious field near to Dean’s house. Inside the tent, it was a tight squeeze and it made the whole experience rather intimate. During that night, the temperature dropped rapidly. When Dean noticed that Castiel was wide awake and shivering in his sleeping bag, he took his arms out of his sleeping bag and wrapped them around Castiel, making sure his blanket covered the both of them. Then for a brief moment they share a moment of eye contact and barely more than an inch between their faces. There was something about Dean’s eyes which Castiel would never forget. His forest green eyes had this mixture of innocence and desire. Castiel can recall glancing down at Dean’s parted lips as he slowly drifted his way closer towards him. If this contact had only lasted a few seconds more, Castiel felt as if maybe that eye contact could of progressed to something much more. However, Dean pulled away. Not in an awkward sense, more of a nervous and uncertainty way. After that, Dean whispered softly to him,  

“Goodnight, Cas…”, 

He closed his sleepy eyes and faced Castiel as he drifted off to sleep. Cas laid there watching Dean sleep so peacefully as the moonlight above them reflected through the thin, blue fabric of the tent, and questioned if their friendship could potentially be more than two guys who have been friends since childhood. He pondered this ridiculous thought, as he counted the freckles on Dean’s face over and over until he fell asleep. 

After that summer, Castiel and Dean found themselves beginning to drift apart in the following year. Extensive school work and weekend jobs began to free up their spare time in which usually they used to spend together. Although in Dean’s case, it was extracurricular activities also. After years of talking about it, Dean had managed to muster up the confidence to try out for the school’s football team.  

It was the first week of starting their senior year at Lawrence High. One morning when they were walking to their lockers, they noticed the football try-out poster on the wall next to Dean’s locker.  

Dean turned to Castiel and spoke words he thought he would never hear coming from his mouth, 

“You know what, I’m tired of the fantasizing about this, it's my final year here and I’m gonna do it..." 

"Do what?" questioned Castiel 

Dean pulled out a pen out of the pocket of his brown leather jacket, "Sign up for this year’s football try-outs. It's on Friday night.” 

Castiel looked on at Dean scribbling his name onto the poster, "Oh, cool..." 

Castiel smiled and gave him the positive motivation he wanted to hear, but deep down, Castiel knew this was the beginning to the end of their friendship. 

Friday came along. Castiel went along to the try-outs to watch Dean from the back of the bleachers, just to be there to support his best friend of many years. He didn’t care for the game in the way Dean did. This was a sport close to Dean’s heart. He was passionate about the game. He had no idea that he would be a natural at the game, so when he managed to continuously run-out his now fellow teammates in such an effortless manner and score touchdown after touchdown, the coach instantly made him a part of the team. Castiel always remembers the night when as everyone else was ecstatic around him because of the discovery of Dean’s hidden talent. Though Castiel was clapping, a fraught, coldness ran through him. 

After the match, Dean spoke with the coach and some of the popular jocks who were already on the team on the field, before he ran up the steps with his helmet in hand, to join Castiel on the bleachers. Dean was ecstatic and filled with joy, and more than anything he wanted to celebrate this moment with his best friend. However, much as Castiel was happy for Dean, a mixture of other emotions filled his mind. 

“I did it, I made the team!” whooped a dirty, sweaty Dean, as he placed his helmet onto the Bleacher before sitting down himself. 

“Uh-huh…” mumbled Castiel, avoiding making eye contact with Dean. He glanced down at his feet and began to scrape a little piece of stone with his foot. 

Dean’s face dropped instantly, looking rather upset, “Cas, why are you being like this, man? he questioned with a slight croak in his voice, ”…I thought you would be just as happy as I am about this.“. 

Castiel looked up and faced his torn best friend, “I am happy for you, Dean. I mean that that, genuinely… It’s just…” 

Dean’s eyes lit up at the words, “Just what?” he responded, looking nervous and as if he was on the verge of tears. 

Castiel stood up and began to speak in a serious, but quiet tone,  

“You’re on the school football team, Dean… You’re not going to want to hang out with me anymore. So, you may as well not waste your time, and just go back down there and talk to the other jocks, because I’m going home…” 

As Castiel began to walk away, Dean stood up and grabbed Castiel by the shoulder in an attempt to stop him walking away,    
“Whoa, hold on… Cas, you’re my best friend. I would never ditch you, ever. ” 

Castiel pushed Dean’s hand off his shoulder, “You must be delusional, you’re a jock now. Guys like me, your team is suppose to laugh at and humiliate, not be their best friend!” 

Dean stood defeated as he watched his best friend walk away. He tried to open his mouth and shout Cas to come back, but couldn’t roll the words off his tongue. Dean gave into his defeat, lowering his head, perhaps there may of even been a tear shred from his eye, as he wiped his cheek before grabbing his helmet and going back to join the rest of his team, who were welcoming him with open arms. 

Castiel watched Dean from a fence from afar, he felt the tears forming in his eyes as he watched him laugh and joke around with the popular guys. He was one of them now. 

The following days after that night just continued to be a painful sight to watch. Every morning, Castiel would quickly rush to get his books from his locker just in case Dean came along because now he was considered a part of the popular crowd, Dean now had a following around him. Castiel most certainly didn’t want to be confronted by jocks. He had seen the sort of thing that they do to guys like him. He didn’t want to get bog-brushed or get his cheeks tapped up. His locker was located near the boys restroom meant the possibility was more likely to happen, especially as the jocks will be hyped up for the new season to get under way. 

Castiel often then watched on as he waited for the form classroom to be opened up. Prior Dean joining the football team, he used to be in school much earlier than he was now. About 5 to 10 minutes before class was due to start, he would come strolling through the double doors with his loud chums, now sporting the school’s football team’s green and white varsity jacket, instead of his old, worn, brown leather jacket with his unique manly musk. Castiel always found himself distracting himself from ignoring Dean’s presence in the halls. 

There was this one time in the cafeteria, he thought he saw Dean look across at him when he was eating his lunch. Dean gave his familiar warm smile in his direction. Castiel couldn’t help but smile back, it was only a natural reaction. Though Castiel soon dropped his smile when he saw a brunette girl with beautiful olive tanned skin wearing a cheerleader outfit walk up to him, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him. Castiel felt a cold shiver run through his body, but mostly affecting the pit of his stomach. Castiel finished the last of his lunch on his plate, he got up and took his tray over to the clearing rack just to get out of there. 

He couldn’t understand the emotions he was feeling. Was he jealous? Was he attracted to Dean? Surely he couldn’t be, he was his best friend for all those years. Plus, he couldn’t be gay, he kissed Meg Masters back in 6th Grade. All given it was a dare and he ended up getting punched in the face for it and ended up with a black eye, but it was a kiss nonetheless, and it didn’t feel wrong. It just felt like a kiss, but what exactly is a kiss suppose to feel like? There was so much on his mind, he didn’t exactly notice that his shoelace had come undone, until it was too late and ended up tripping over his open shoelace straight into the back of one of the jocks. 

Fergus Crowley - or just Crowley to his teammates, was an exchange student from England who was there for the semester, but due to him being rather good at playing rugby, by playing for his country’s youth national team, it was suggested that he should maintain his fitness during his time in the USA by playing football at the school. Crowley picked Castiel up by the scruff of his gray t-shirt and shoved him up against the wall, as some of the other jocks gathered around. 

“What are we going to do with you?” smirked Crowley are he turned to his minions who were looking on and chuckling. 

The next thing he knew, Castiel was being dragged by the jocks down the corridor towards the restroom.   
Castiel had his head forced down the toilet as they flushed repeatedly. He choked several times, wondering if he was even going to make it out alive. Much as he could sustain a certain degree of time underwater, the force he was being held down was excruciating. As they pulled his head up from the toilet bowl, he heard the roars of laughter surrounding him as his head spun and he choked and spluttered. His vision was fairly blurred but when he was turned around and saw his old best friend also laughing along with these morons, he felt as if he may as well of been held down that toilet bowl a little while longer. 

“Hey, Winchester, do you want to do the honors with this one?” asked Crowley, as his friends gripped hold of a restless, struggling Castiel. 

Dean forced a smile and nodded in agreement, “Yeah, sure….” he responded in a nervous tone. 

Crowley pulled out a chunky roll of duct tape from his jacket pocket and handed it over to Dean, “Great, here’s the tape. Remember to get a tight stretch when you roll it around. It maintains the hold a little better” 

Crowley turned to his friends, “Bend him over boys, and let’s get his trousers down” 

“We call it pants here, Crowley” responded one of the jocks. 

“To-mato, Tomato… I don’t really give a shit” 

The jocks pulled down Castiel’s olive colored pants and black boxer shorts, exposing his bare buttocks to the jocks. Whereas Crowley and his friends were almost peeing themselves with laughter, Dean stood there with the duct tape in his hand and just glared at Castiel’s smooth, tight ass bent over before him. Dean rashly swallowed as he continued to stare Castiel’s ass. 

“Hey, Winchester, stop being a queer standing there staring at his arse. Get taping!” instructed Crowley, as he shoved Dean in the back. Castiel was laid over the pan in distress, as the jocks held him down awaiting for Dean to proceed. 

Dean began to unravel the tape into a large stretch before placing it down carefully onto Castiel’s cheeks. He began to slowly start smoothing it out with his hand. Although Castiel was hating the whole experience, something changed when he felt Dean’s hand touching his bare skin. He quickly found himself imagining Dean caressing his buttocks with both hands, that was short lived when Dean was shoved aside by Crowley and let his friends take over the duct taping. They wound the tape furiously and tightly around his cheeks as they roared on with laughter. 

Although, things were about to get even worse. As they lifted him up to tape his hands, they noticed he was semi-erected. 

“Holy crap!” roared one of the jocks, alerting the others to Castiel’s misfortune.   
Dean looked Castiel in the eye, but he didn’t laugh or anything. It was an expression he had never seen coming from Dean before. Castiel looked down, trying to avoid staring at his boner. 

“Novak, you kinky little poof. You were enjoying this the whole time!” joked one of the jocks holding him. 

“Maybe it was Winchester who turned him on by fumbling around with his ass” responded the other jock. 

Dean turned his focus away, but of course that didn’t go unnoticed by Crowley.   
“Aw, Cas, look what you’ve done, you’ve gone and embarrassed your boyfriend” announced Crowley. 

Next thing Dean walked out the restroom leaving Castiel with Crowley and the two jocks. After that, they tapped up his hands and legs, leaving him on the restroom floor to be found and made a spectacle out of. People took pictures and sent it around to everyone, and even more painful and embarrassingly, he had to have the tape removed by a teacher. 

For a while after that incident, Castiel studied from home before his parents came to a solution with the school. All the jocks who inflicted the pain and embarrassment on Castiel ended up getting suspended and kicked off the football team. As for Dean, Castiel decided to not mention that he was a participate in the incident. Even though, Castiel felt hate and betrayal towards Dean, he didn’t feel he could mention that he was a part of the whole ordeal. He was his best friend for many years, and he didn’t go through all the way like the others did. Then again, that was Dean. He wasn’t a total dick like those jocks were. At heart, he had a very kind nature. Castiel knew that deep down, he was still that same person he grew up with. 

When Castiel began re-attending school again, and of course he was getting looks and people whispering and laughing around him the first few days back. After that things began to get a little easier. Finals were coming up and he knew the last days of high school were upon him, thankfully. Castiel knew he no longer had to see any of these people ever again after that. Also, he had received the news that he had been shortlisted for the annual Kansas City Student Science Awards, which alone will help hugely on college applications. 

As he went to his locker one morning, on the wall beside Dean’s locker, was the poster announcing the senior prom. Castiel sighed, he hated the idea of proms. It wasn’t for students like him. It was for the popular students who wanted to conspire a plan to win the almighty Senior Prom King and Queen, or an excuse for them to continue to the party afterwards elsewhere, and get drunk, and hook up. Also, of course, it’s for those dating, or who want a subtle way of asking out their crush and get to spend some intimate time with them by slow dancing or whatever. As for Castiel, he didn’t fit any of those categories. 

Later that night when he got home, at the dinner table, his brother Michael, who was currently home from Harvard, brought up the subject of prom - although he was already well aware of Castiel's view on the subject, 

“So, Castiel. It’s two weeks left of high school. Tell me, have you got a nice girl to take along to prom next weekend?” 

Castiel finished his mouthful of food before speaking, but was quickly cut off by his mother, Naomi. 

“Prom? Hon, you never mentioned there was a prom on next week?” 

Castiel placed down his knife and fork, “No, Michael. I don’t have a date. To be honest, Mother, I don’t wish to attend”. 

"Well, ok..." muttered Naomi as she cut and took a forkful of potato. 

Castiel’s father, Chuck intervened the conversation. Being a writer, he considered himself full of advice, although he writes novels not agony aunt columns, 

“You should go, son. You know, at my senior prom, I felt the same way. I had never had a girlfriend, I always had my head stuck in books half the time. But if I didn’t attend that prom, I doubt I would of ever of met your mother. When I saw her standing there alone because her date, Bartholomew had ditch her, I decided I was going to compose myself and walk on over to her, and ask her to dance with me. I am more than glad I did, because everything wouldn’t of been the way it is today if I didn’t take that action”. 

Michael began to chuckle, “Wow, Pa, I didn’t take you for a softy!” 

“Well, Michael, I love your mother and I’m glad to have produced two wonderful young men with this woman, and who knows? Castiel may even find his future wife at the dance” 

"I didn't find my future wife at my school dance. I found my future husband" smuggly pipped up Michael. 

"Well, we didn't know Luci was a boy at that point of time..." responded Naomi in between taking another mouthful of dinner. 

Castiel sighed as he fiddled around with a pea with his fork on his plate, “Father, I’m not romantically interested in anyone, nor have any intention in perusing anyone. Can't we just drop this already?” 

Chuck smirked as he cut his steak, “You may not know her yet. But when you do, everything will come clear... Then you can bring her home for dinner for us to meet...” 

Castiel groaned, “I completely acknowledge your point and it’s completely valid, but I don’t think you fully get the grasp of what I’m trying to say here. I do not want to attend the prom because it is not for me, and before you say ‘but Castiel, you haven’t been to one, so how would you know?’. Well, I just know it would not be…”  

   
Castiel’s father nodded as he finished swallowing a mouthful of steak, “Hey, tell you what, Castiel. I’ll call up your principal in the morning and i will find out if you can help out with the prom organizing. I really don’t think you should be missing out on the prom all together, son. Plus, you need some experience for your resume anyway, so it would probably be in your best interest to do that instead of sitting here at home studying. You need to take more breaks anyway, but you won’t be excluded from the event all your peers are attending.” 

“Ok...” murmured Castiel. 

"Good” responded Chuck. 

After a few minutes of silence and the whole family eating, Michael spoke up. 

“Hey, Papa, please could you pass me over the potatoes?“ asked Michael 

"Yes, of course” responded Chuck. 

Chuck passed the potatoes down to Michael. 

"Thank you..." 

Castiel glanced on as he continued to eat his dinner. Michael sat opposite and began to stare back at his younger brother, with a slight smirk on his face. Castiel was annoyed. Michael knew by dropping that information at the dinner table he would get Castiel dragged into going to the school dance. Then again, Michael has been a total ass to Castiel throughout their teens. One winter night, 3 years back, Castiel snuck out his bedroom window to drive around with Dean in his Father's black 1967 Chevy Impala and hang out. 

After Castiel had left, Michael decided to deliberately locked the window behind him, so that he got locked out and was forced to be let in by their parents. It was gone 11.30PM, and Castiel and climbed up onto the roof of the porch. There was a hard frost and he had almost slipped off several times as he made his way up. As he tried his window, he found that it wouldn't budge. As the temperature was continuing to drop and he was beginning to get extremely tired, Castiel was forced to carefully make his way back down and ring the doorbell for his parents to let him in. His father came to the door and saw his youngest son shivering at the door, wearing only a white t-shirt, blue jeans, and worn-out, grubby white, vans sneakers.  

His father was furious. 

His parents decided on grounding him for an entire month. Although, Castiel got off the hook a little by saying he was around Dean's house working on a school project. So, his parents decided perhaps a week would be more suitable. Michael was rather peeved about that. Castiel always wondered if it was because Michael never had a best friend growing up and Dean didn't want to befriend Michael in all the times he tried to attempt a friendship with him. 

He couldn't wait until college. At least then him and Michael would only see each other at Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

 

\--------------- 

 

On the day of the prom, Castiel arrived at the school at 4:30PM wearing a white shirt, black tie, pants and leather shoes. He quickly found himself being bossed around by Becky Rosen, a quirky, childish, yet demanding young woman. Castiel always believed if she wasn’t so excitable, she would have some excellent qualities to become a boss or a PA. 

“Castiel, I need more than 25 solo cups of punch filled up ready to go” stated Becky as she tapped her pen beside the black plastic clipboard in her hand,  

“Also, remember we are sticking to the plan of the solo cups positioned to spell out the word, ‘PROM’. Chop-chop, because I need you doing the balloons in about 10 minutes. We’re on a tight scheduled and it’s got to be perfect” 

Castiel sighed as he stood awkwardly with his hands in his trouser pockets, "Yes, Becky, I will get right on it” 

“Good. I’ll be back to check shortly” responded Becky euthistatically. 

Castiel sighed as he picked up the scooper and began to pour more punch cups. His classmate, Hannah walked up beside him. She had long dark brown, braided back with a black scrunchy. She was wearing a casual yet smart looking black dress and heels. 

“Is Becky getting on your nerves yet?” 

Castiel turned to face Hannah as he continued pouring the punch into the cup, “No more than usually” 

Hannah smiled, “Well, I just wanted to come over and say hello”, she cleared her throat and looked down nervously, “Also, I wanted to say that you look great. You look great in a suit, you scrub up rather well…” 

Castiel turned to Hannah and smiled, “Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself in that dress” 

“Thanks, do you like it? I thought there was no real point dressing up too smart being an organizer also, but I do like the elegance of this dress… And it shows all my curves in all the right places…” 

Castiel turned away and continued pouring the punch into more cups, “Yeah... You're right, it does that..” 

Hannah grabbed Castiel’s hand, “I feel awkward to ask, but do you have a date tonight? I was wondering because I need a date, but I don’t want to ask a guy who I don’t know and I guess as we were already friends, perhaps you would be willing to be my prom date?” 

Castiel nodded his head in agreement, “Yeah, sure. I have no objections with that” 

Hannah leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, “Thanks. I’ll come and find you later on” 

“Uhh... Ok then” responded Castiel. 

Deep down he didn’t want to be anyone’s date, nor did he want to even be at the event. However, Hannah was a friend and it seemed an ok thing to do by accepting her invitation. It was just a prom date, surely she wouldn’t have feelings for him. That would be absurd… 

After the tiresome preparations were completed, Castiel went to restroom and freshened his face with some cold water. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror. He was an 18 year old, average looking guy. Why the heck would Hannah like him? He wasn’t talented or gifted in anyway, only thing he had going for him was possibly graduating high school in flying colors and attending college in the fall, of which he doesn’t know even where that will be yet. So, starting any relationship would be utterly preposterous to even attempt.  

   
Then again, why was he even thinking about Hannah in that way. He didn’t even find her remotely attractive. It was difficult to even imagine anyone he would want to almost every waking hour of his life with doing various activities. Who could he talk to about all his hopes and dream, but also cuddle up with under the moonlight like a cliche sap in complete and utter silence and just share the vulnerable intimacy, and who would he trust to be fully exposed in front of. With all his defenses let down and allow him to feel some sort of sexual pleasure with? 

Castiel stood back, stunned by his revelation. No-one he was never interested in anyone. He had eyes for one person, his former best friend. The guy he grew up with and over time became almost inseparable with. 

He was in love…  

In love with Dean Winchester. 

Castiel made his way out the restroom, overwhelmed by the fact it has taken all this time to realize everything. Perhaps it was a puzzle he was connecting the pieces to for all these years, but that one final piece clicked into place during that moment of epiphany, which finally gave the full picture and answer Castiel has questioned for all these years. Of course, he got the same urges as any other guy his age, but there was never a certain denominator for these urges. Until now, it made sense. When Dean touched his bare buttocks, he now understood why he felt the way he did. 

Dean turns him on. 

As he wandered down the corridor, he sees Hannah waiting by the double doors outside the hall. When he reached her, she lunged forward and hugged him. 

“I knew you wouldn’t let me down, Castiel” she spoke softly as she rested upon his torso. Castiel wrapped his arms around her shoulders, unsure what to do in this position. 

Hannah’s body began to tremble, and she began to clutch her arms around him tight, “Castiel… I have a confession” she mumbled, avoid eye contact.   
Castiel raised her head gently with his hand, “Hannah…” 

Her eyes were shifty, uncertain on where to look, but before Castiel could even stop her, she placed a hand behind his head, bring his head forward for a kiss. Castiel pulled away, trying to fight the kiss, but eventually gave in, opening his mouth to be more recipient to Hannah. 

Their noses brushed in a clumsy manner, although the quality of kissing was surprisingly good, considering Castiel had only kissed one person prior. Castiel quickly got into a rhythm and soon found that fondling the other person’s body is highly rewarding for them. This continued for a good minute before Hannah moved her hand down Castiel’s inner thigh and began to move towards his crotch. Castiel moved away, looking extremely uncomfortable. 

Hannah “I’m sorry, I got carried away, I didn’t mean to - ” 

“No, Hannah, I should be the one apologizing… I’m sorry, I can’t do this…” 

Hannah grabbed hold Castiel's hand as he turned away, “Castiel, what I was trying to say is that I really like you” 

Castiel tried to look Hannah in the eye, but his eyes were shifty and he could see how awkward she is from this poorly received move. 

“This is the reason why I can’t do this. I’m sorry I led you on like that… I wasn’t thinking…” 

He pulled his hand away from Hannah and walked off down the corridor, leaving Hannah standing there looking on as her crush and date for the night walked away. 

"Castiel!" echoed Hannah. 

Castiel wasn't stirred by this. He introverted himself into his head and zoned out. Everything around him became just blurred background noise, it meant nothing to him. 

Castiel rushed into the restroom and locked himself into a stall. He slammed his head back against the door, placing his hands to his face. 

“I-I’m such a fucking jerk…” he muttered under his breath, as he began to cry. 

Why did he go along with the kiss? He should of suspected that Hannah liked him. She’s probably so hurt right now and this has likely ruined her prom, and who’s fault is that? For the rest her life, likely she will look back upon this night, and remember the asshole that is Castiel Novak ditching her before the prom. 

Castiel wiped away the tears from his eyes. He knew deep down what the issue was. He loved the old Dean Winchester and he kinda knew that he would never get his former best friend back, and most certainly would he ever be his boyfriend. 

Although, Dean never exactly discussed about those he liked, it was fair to assume that he was into girls. So, there was no chance for Castiel. 

Castiel unlocked the stall and walked over to the sink and decided to freshen his face again. As he was freshening his face, he heard the restroom door open and someone walk in. As Castiel looked up, he sees a smartly dressed Dean stood right behind him. 

“Hey, Cas…” spoke Dean in a tender tone. He looked nervous, clutching his hands, as he stood with his hair slicked back to the left side, wearing a full gray designer suit with a red rose and purple napkin in the pocket, white shirt, blue tie, and black leather shoes.   
   
 

As the automatic tap switched off, Castiel turned around to face Dean, “Hey…” 

Dean began to nervously rub the back of his neck, “Look, I know things haven’t been great between us in the past year and half, and I wanted to apologize about what happened… I should of been fucking standing up for you, man. I was a total dick. I just wanted to tell you the next time I saw you around that I was sorry about everything, but let’s be honest, man… That’s not very often anymore." 

Dean placed his hand on Castiel's shoulder, avoiding any eye contact, "Cas, I’m not looking for your forgiveness, I was a total jerk and I don’t deserve your friendship. I just… I wanted to try and put some closure to this if I could. To be honest, I was afraid I wasn’t going to see you ever again…” 

Castiel smiled, “Dean, I accept your apology. Don’t get worked up over it, the past is the past..." 

Dean looked at Castiel and smiled back nervous, “Uhh... Cas, have you been crying? Your eyes are bloodshot, dude” 

Castiel turned away and placed his hands on the basin of the sink as he gazed into the reflection of the mirror, “Maybe, but it’s nothing to do with you…” he muttered. 

"Cas, what's going on with you, buddy?" asked Dean in a concerned tone. 

Castiel turned around and began to walk over towards the door. 

“Whoa, come on, man. Don’t fucking walk away on me again!” yelled Dean. 

Castiel clutched his hand on the slightly ajar restroom door,  

"Dean… If you want to talk about that, we can discuss it another time. Please, just not now...” 

Dean slowly towards Castiel. The strapping young man glared fretfully as he stood toweringly straight, clutching his fists firmly, 

“No, let’s have it out now. Ok, I admit, you was right about one part, I did become a complete asshat for a while, and you have no idea how much I regretted that, but you walked away… That… That was not me. I wanted us to still be friends, but it was you who decided to be a jackass and ruin such an important highlight for me…” 

Castiel slowly let go of the door and wandered across towards Dean, 

“Dean, I was happy for you... Same for now, you’ve changed so much. You are far more confident, you-you’ve got a girl, and also now captain of the school football team, alongside with getting onto the team, and all in a year and half. It’s impressive and I’m glad you've got what you have always wanted” 

“Okay, perhaps I’ve got all that, but you know what I wanted more than anything? I wanted my best friend there for me to share these milestones in my life with. That’s not my fault you wasn’t there, you was the one who ditched me that night!” 

“W-Well... What if I were there? Pretty sure the outcome would of still of been the same. We would of drifted apart, Dean. Let’s just accept you’ve got a girlfriend and a load of idiot jock friends to fill that vacancy in your life. There’s no place for me, so let’s just accept that and go our own ways as we have been doing for all this time” 

Dean leaned his arms against the partition of the stools, “Cas… If our friendship meant anything at all to you over the years, just go now and don’t come back. Don’t ruin it any... Damn... More…” he rasped in an anger tone. 

Castiel tottered slowly towards Dean, cautiously like a deer would to avoid the predator hunting it. He placed a hand upon his firm, brawny shoulder, 

"Dean..." calmly spoke Castiel. 

Dean continued to stay put. Castiel could hear him breathing heavily in aggravation. Then all of a sudden, he turned to face Castiel, venting out his frustration, 

"Fuck sake, Cas... Just go!" roared Dean, as he forcefully shoved Castiel out of his personal space. Castiel stumbled backwards but managed to find his feet and not fall over. 

Castiel sighed as he walked to the door,  

"As you wish…” he softly muttered as he opened the door to leave. 

After that, Castiel wandered out the restroom, feeling broken and distraught. Of course, he wanted to stay back and try to sort the situation, but Dean was right. It was ruined, why ruin it even more? College was on the horizon, it wasn’t like they were going to take the same paths. There had been rumors circulating that Dean had been offered a football scholarship at some LA sports college where former students have later gone on to play in NFL from there. Dean was never exactly academic anyway, so this would be an opportunity he wouldn’t turn down if its true. He would be following his own dreams.  

Back in the restroom, Dean wandered back and forth in front of the stalls before turning and kicking a stall door in. 

"Fuck!" he hollered in anger, as the stall door hung off a single hinge and had a large crack imprinted from the impact of the kick. 

As Castiel walked back into the hall, he accidentally let the heavy metal door clank behind, causing a dreadful echo to spring around the hollow sounding room. Amongst the darknen hall with purple deco, Becky came storming from the back, with a face peering with anger as she approached Castiel who stood awkwardly by the door.  

"Novak! Show some respect to the school property. If we damage anything, it won’t be your fingers on the chopping board. It will be mine!”  

“Becky, I’m sick of being boss around. It was an accident, ok? Sorry I accidentally let the door slam behind me”  

Becky stood took back by Castiel. Her mouth was open but she was rendered speechless, 

“J-Just.. Just go over to the punch stand and keep out of my way...”  

Castiel nervously chuckled as Becky walked away. Others in the room looked over to Castiel smiling and nodding their heads in agreement. He thought to himself maybe he should start speaking up more often if he can get results like this. 

Not long after that, the music was started up by Alfie, the DJ for the night. He was glad for the gig, after all, it meant he gets to use his DJ and light gear he bought from some dodgy party and disco events guy called Marv. After a few technically glitches with a couple of lights not working correctly, everything was up and going, and the music was flowing.  

People were starting to arrive, meaning Castiel had to begin with doing his job of handing out the punch to everyone. Most people were pleasant and thanked him on handing them their drinks, although none of the jocks did. Most just smirked and purposely ignored him other than snatching the drinks from his hand. Rather quickly, things began to slow down, so he got himself a drink as he looked on at all the seniors having a great time as he stood alone in the corner. When he saw Dean arrive in the hall with Lisa, that’s when everything started to hit home. He needed Dean, damn, how had he been so stupid to let him drift away like that. Dean is a good guy, he wouldn’t of ditched him. He had done that. Now he is forced to look on at him with some girl and a bunch of idiots and be ok with it. The pain he felt as he saw the way Dean looked at Lisa.  

Dean looked at her as if she was his whole world, as if anything else other than that moment of time didn’t matter. Castiel felt tears beginning to build up in his eyes as he looked on. He clutched his empty punch cup even harder, to the extent it began to crack. That when he looked up in a serious stance. Dean and Lisa were no longer there.  

He saw the side door slowly closing. Castiel followed behind as Dean ran off with Lisa heading towards the bleachers. 

As they reached the bleachers, he waited behind the fence, in strangely enough the same spot as he did that night. He watched Dean take Lisa’s hand and speak to her quietly. This was a side of Dean he had not seen before. He then ruffled through his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box.  

_No…_  

Lisa stood up looking stunned, but that was short lived as she quickly turned around looking peeved as she stormed off, leaving Dean stood standing there completely emotionless. He almost looked as betrayed as he did that night when Castiel had walked away. Castiel quickly ran over to Dean who was standing alone on the field, slowly placing the little red box back inside his jacket pocket.  

“Dean…” gasped Castiel as his breath steamed in the cold air under the spotlights. 

Dean looked up from the ground, turning his head to look at Castiel. Dean was clearly upset and on the verge of tears. His green eyes were shifty as he focused on Cas. He could probably tell that Castiel could read his face like an open book. He could hide the fact he was upset, but it's not the same as back when they were kids and he had fallen over and grazed his knee, or when he wasn't allowed to have Castiel come on vacation with his family. Dean was the captain of the school football team, that gig was macho as it got. He couldn't be seen as a wuss, even if the head cheerleader just dumped his sorry ass at the senior prom. He had an image to maintain - even in front of the young man who has known him since a little boy. 

“Cas, get the hell out of here. This is the worst time you could show your face...” croaked Dean as he yelled at the dark haired boy slowly approaching him. 

Cas gazed down, “I’m sorry for everything, but I’m not letting you get hurt again. I’m here to try and repair where it went wrong the first time” calmly responded Castiel, who was loosening his tie down from his open top button. His hands trembled nervously as he looked up at Dean, who stood distressed. 

Dean's eyes met with Castiel's. It was a brief encounter of two souls crying out to each other. One in betrayal, the other seeking forgiveness. What both shared in common was the same profound melancholy. 

Dean grabbed Cas by his tie and forcefully dragging him towards him, “There’s nothing to repair, Cas. What do you want from me, huh?" Dean bellowed as he looked Castiel in a vexed manner, "Come on, hit me. Tell me how I'm the jerk, when you ditched me, like everyone else in my life!” 

 Castiel gasped as Dean clenched his fist around the wounded tie,  

“Dean, I’m not going to hit you… I w-would never do t-that...” choked Castiel as he gazed into Dean's frurated eyes. Dean broke eye contact after a few moments of gazing into the frosty blues of Castiel's eyes. 

Dean let a deep sigh, “Fine... We'll do this the hard way...” 

Without giving Castiel a chance to even regain his breath, Dean flung his arm out, swinging his fist towards his stomach, thumping him forcefully to wind him to the floor. Castiel wailed on the damp grass as he clutched his aching gut. As Castiel was groaning on his back, Dean stormed forward, lifting his foot to hover above Castiel's crotch. Dean slowly brought his newly purchased designer leather shoe down between Castiel's legs, putting pressure on his pelvis. Castiel began to sob as Dean inflicted even more pain upon his body, 

“Dean, stop…” he pleaded as Dean gazed down at him in a daunting glare. This wasn't Dean anymore. Castiel had previously seen Dean angry, but right now, he was so intensely furious, it was as if he was possessed by a demon or some other dark entity. 

"No! I want to know why you think you can just screw with my life in the way that you do.... I-I want to know why you have to ruin everything!" 

"I don't know, Dean. What do you want me to say? I didn't mean to hurt you, I care about..." 

"Care? Ha! You've gotta be kidding me, Cas!" 

Castiel raised his arms in surrender, “Fine, F-Fine... I'll say it... I-I love you, Dean, ok?” he stuttered. 

Dean stopped and glared at Castiel, wondering if his hearing had deceived him or not,  

“What?”  

Castiel crawled his way onto his knees, and slowly got himself up, covered in mud and grass stains, "...What? W-What do you want me to do, spell it out for you? I love you, Dean. I was scared to say anything… You was my best friend, for Christ sake...”  

Dean turned away. He laughed nervously as he put his face in his hands, “I can’t be hearing this..." 

Castiel wiped away grass and mud from his shirt as he wandered up behind Dean, "How much proof do you need that I care about you? I'm opening up my heart to you, and that's not enough!?"  

Dean turned around towards Castiel, but gazed up at the stars in the sky instead of looking at him, "No... I-It's not that..." he spoke anxiously, 

Dean lowered his head to face Castiel and began to speak in a more slowed, serious tone, "..Do you really think saying those magic 3 words solves everything, and hey, presto! We kiss and make up and be gay lovers? No, Cas... It fucking damn well doesn't!”  

Dean began to make his way towards the bleachers. Castiel jammed his hands into his pockets, and followed behind Dean, “No, of course not… But what have I got to lose...”  

Dean stopped walking and began to loosened his tie, as he gazed down at the grass, kicking at some loose bits of turf. 

“Dean... I saw the way you looked at Lisa. Much as you may want to turn a blind eye over the fact, you used to look at me in that exact same way. I was your whole world at one point. There’s no denying that... You loved me, Dean. That's why it hurts so much, don't it?”  

A tear began to form from Dean's left eye. The tear glistened in the spotlight as it ran down his face, 

"Shut the fuck up, Cas..." he muttered as he wiped his face, reaching the first row of the bleachers and sat down. 

Castiel continued to walk over towards Dean, "No. You still do love me. You just haven't got the balls to admit you're interested in another guy. Well, I found mine, about time you do the same, being a football player and all..." 

Dean looked up at Castiel, scowling his face, "Do you know what they do to guys who come out and who play a sport like football? You get the crap ripped out of you..." he spoke in a rugged tone, "..T-There's a mold you've gotta fit, you've gotta be a total ass, you've gotta date a hot chick, you need... Should be having sex with her..." 

Castiel sat down on the bleachers on the row behind. He looked bewildered by Dean's disclosure,"Wait... Didn't you and Lisa...?" 

Dean sighed, "No..." 

Castiel climbed over to sit beside Dean on the front row of the bleachers, 

"Dean, talk to me..." gently spoke Castiel, as he turned to look at Dean, who was clearly troubled by this. 

Dean tilted his head towards Castiel, trying to cover up, and give the false impression that he is fine, "Why the fuck do you think I would do that?" he rasped cockily. 

Castiel closed his eyes, "Because I know you want to..." he softly responded, as he opened his eyes. 

Dean took in a deep breath as he gazed over the field, "Ok... But don't laugh, or I swear to god, I'll punch your fricking teeth out..." 

Castiel placed his hand upon Dean's for reassurance, "Dean... Calm down, I'm not gonna laugh at you..." 

Dean looked down at Castiel's hand upon his before looking Castiel in the eye. For a moment, Castiel thought he might of tried to punch him for it, but he didn't. 

 "Fine..." croaked Dean. 

Dean cleared his throat, "Um... W-Well, me and Lisa tried, many times to have sex... I mean, we did do some stuff, but I couldn't... I couldn't bring myself to go all the way..." 

Castiel scratched his head nervously, "Er... W-Were they... D-Did the other guys on the football team pressure you to sleep with Lisa?" 

"Well, yeah... But I kinda wanted to have sex with her..." 

Castiel gazed at Dean doubtingly, "Kinda?" 

Dean began to fiddle with his hands, "I... I don't know..." he muttered nervously,  

"...I-I knew that I wanted to lose my virginity before starting the academy and to be like the other guys on the team. I couldn't just keep on telling them about how I used my magic fingers to pleasure her after the game up on the bleachers, or how we made out in the back of my car. The guys wanted to know everything not just up to 3rd base... I just... I couldn't keep lying through my teeth. So, I told the guys and Lisa that I wanted to wait until marriage..." 

Castiel lowered his eyebrows, as he continued to look at Dean suspiciously, "You really want to wait until marriage?" 

"No, of course not, but then there was the team... The guys decided to get a load of cash together so I could wear this stupid, designer tux to prom, and give her this ring I've got in my pocket, so that I could propose to Lisa and get a step closer to doing the dirty deed... She thought I was just screwing around, but maybe she was right..." 

"Why was she right?" 

Dean's lower lip began to quiver as he fidgeted, "..S-She said... She said I didn't want to be with her because I'm hiding the fact that I... I like guys...".  

Dean's face went to a pale white. 

"You do?" responded Castiel, in a surprised tone. 

"Y-Yes..." responded Dean nervously, as he continued to fidget and avoid eye contact. 

Castiel placed his hand upon Dean's shoulder. He felt his body trembling. Castiel had never seen Dean this scared of anything before. 

"Dean? What is it?" asked Castiel in a concerned tone. 

Dean turned to face Castiel. His bold green eyes glared before him. His eyes flickered as he began to open his mouth to speak, 

"C-Cas..." stuttered Dean. 

Castiel placed his hand back onto Dean's. His eyes widened as looked him in the eye and smiled softly, 

"Take your time, I'm not going anywhere..." 

The corners of Dean's mouth turned up, as he sighed in relief,  

"Ok... What I-I'm trying to say is... I like you, Cas. You was right too.." 

Castiel's face lit up in astonishment, "Dean... I don't know what to say in response to-" 

Dean leaned forward, "You don't need to say anything, asshat... I've found my balls..." he spoke softly. 

Dean pulled Castiel's head forward, tilting his head so that his lips met Castiel's. He gently pecked Castiel's chapped lips, before Castiel widened his lips to allow him to grasp more of his lower lip. Dean's fine stubble brushed again Castiel's as he paused and gently pulled away off of Castiel's lower lip. 

Dean's pupils were dilated as teasingly licked his lips,  

"Fuck... That was as great as I imagined it would be..." 

Castiel gave a nervous half-smile as he rested his body upon Dean, leaning his head on his shoulder, "Dean..." 

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel, "I know... But I don't care. We've got a whole lotta making up to do..." 

Dean placed his hand under Castiel's chin, raising his head to look up, "Hey... I want you to know that love you, Cas..." 

Castiel's baby blues glistened as he smiled, "You don't need to tell me, I know... And I love you too, Dean..." 

Before the boys knew it, some of their peers were outside pointing down to the bleachers, staring as they gossiped with their friends.  

Castiel smiled as he ran his fingers through the back of Dean's hair, "Dean... They're watching..." 

Dean lowered his head giggled into Castiel's neck,"Let them watch, Cas.. We can provide a good show if we have to..." 

"Alright" softly responded Castiel. 

Dean lifted his head up, and pulled away from Castiel, as he got up from the bleachers, 

Dean rubbed his forehead, "Er... You wanna get outta here and come back to my place, and watch some movies and eat pizza like old times?" 

Castiel nodded in agreement as he rose from the bleachers, "Yeah... That sounds good to me" 

Dean placed his hand onto Castiel's shoulder, as they began to walk off over the school football pitch,  

"Awesome..."

**Author's Note:**

> Initially, I planned to write this as an one-shot fan fic, but after writing 21 pages, it felt best I continued that if I'm going to continue writing this, I may as well break it down into different parts.
> 
> Let me know if you want to read more :)


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